Tuesday 12 November 2019

Self-Care is it selfish?

Stress awareness day is 6 November and Self-Care week is from the 18th to the 24th Nov 2019.
For me, these two events have something in common which is generally not spoken about. That is the fact that we have been trained/educated to listen to others but rarely to ourselves.This can lead us to care for others at the expense of ourselves. This in turn generally makes us feel stressed.

We tend to see stress as something that is happening to us from the outside, like having too much work, or not enough money. When in fact it is caused by the way we think and what we believe about the situation we are in.  We feel we are in the  position of being a victim of our circumstances rather than in control. We might say, I have to look after an elderly parent rather than the fact we are choosing to do so because we would rather do that than leave them on their own, or pay someone else to do so.

Deep down, we know when something is right for us or not, but don't necessarily say anything when it doesn't, as this make rock the boat or displease others. Why do we continue to do this? Because as children we learned to bend and conform to other's will in order to be liked. This pattern will only work for so long and while you are getting recognition from others. Once an adult if you are continually seeking approval from others in order to feel good, you will struggle to feel whole, fulfilled and therefore stressed.

I have seen with many clients who have come to me with stress of some sort or another, that a key component is that they do not have a good self care practice, so feel overwhelmed, unappreciated and exhausted.

Is self-care selfish?

Fundamentally this is usually because they have been told (by well-meaning parents, the media, maybe even school or religion) that it's selfish to put ones own needs first. As you will know if you have ever flown, this isn't the case.  It is paramount to put your own oxygen mask on first, before you help anyone else.

 It is as crucial that we care for ourselves, in the same way that we would care for others, if we are to be fit and healthy enough in order to be able to support others. There is no reason you should feel that you don't deserve it, other than the fact it's a belief which stems from childhood.

My aim is to help you change that and see how wonderful you feel and how much easier life becomes when you do practice the gift of self care in the many forms it takes.

As Christmas is approaching, I am hearing people talk about gift giving, and you may or may not get what you hoped for on 25 December, however you can always give yourself the gift of health through self-care.

Some of my client ask: How?

They find self-care such as exercise, a good diet, even meditation  confusing, complicated, tedious and even sometimes difficult to follow. This is why I love giving them simple yet effective tools and practices that they can use within their daily life. And some of them, I share on my Youtube channel
Self-care isn't just about all those things, but also becoming aware of how we think of ourselves, the things we say about ourselves in our own head. To do this we need to take time out from rushing around or following others and pause long enough to see those thought patterns.
I know not everyone has the time or the funds to have one-to-one treatment on a regular basis.

Why workshops?

This is the reason I organise workshops and events. I want to help more people access self-care modalities, which have helped me stay well and able to look after my family and my clients. Like my tools, these are fun, simple, easy to follow and allow you to be yourself, rather than follow strict rules and guidelines which take you away from being aware of what's going on in you and may also go against your sense of well-being.
One of these which has now been running for two years  at Liddington Village hall is a mindful movement practice afternoon workshop called 5 rhythms. The next ones are on 1 Dec and on 9th Feb.
It's easy because there are no steps to learn ( I have enough going on, without having to learn something else) and no partners needed (ideal as my husband hates dancing).
It has helped me be more aware and respectful of the different rhythms that go on all around and inside me. It brings back the freedom and fun in my body that gets lost with the every day demands. I reconnect with a place inside myself that is at peace and content with who I am.
Come and find out for yourself and join us on the dance floor.
Suitable for everyone! Whatever your level of fitness or unfitness, wellness or illness. No experience of any form of exercise required.
Booking is essential to avoid disappointment as places are limited. Early bird 20th Nov
Feel the joy of a flowing life.
 
New to Swindon:
Accunect Self Care Day; for you and your family!

DISCOVER A SIMPLE SELF-CARE PRACTICE THAT CAN TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE.…


Last August I attended an Accunect Self Care day in Frome. I am so impressed with the effects that I want to share this with people around Swindon.
I have experienced many workshops as part of my continuing education. Although I may use some of the techniques I learn, I have never come across one that is so easy to learn, use and so effective.

Ever since the course, I have practised the routine, which only takes a few minutes every morning before I get out of bed.  I feel I have had more energy and felt generally calmer and clear headed, when I have been under pressure. When I use it with clients, I sometimes pick up imbalances in their system and this has been a real eye-opener to the power this healing practice has.

So the second way to give yourself the gift of health is to find out more about Accunect.
If you can't make this one but would like to be kept informed of the next one please sign onto my updates list and include Accunect as a topic you want to know more about.
  • Contact me to book  a 15 min relaxation session that includes Accunect in exchange for a donation to my chosen charity which I am offering till the 8th January.
  • Learn how to do it for yourself on the 18 January which will also enable you to help others such as friends and family. It will be held at my practice in Swindon. Event details on facebook. If you want to book this workshop early bird is till 6th Jan 2020. Places are limited so you may want to reserve your place and also have the possibility to pay in 3 instalments if need be. Book here

    Of course if you have any questions please get in touch and I will be more than happy to help.

Here Garbor Maté talks about the importance of self care as a care giver.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6IL8WVyMMs