Fear of public speaking: 5 questions to help you manage your fear of public speaking

Here are some tips to help you with fear of public speaking.

1) If you were just talking to 1 person what would you say?
The issue is not actually self-conscious but other conscious. When you can be free of what others think of you, then you can be yourself and truly shine. Realise that all the people in the room are likely to know less about you topic than you do (unless of course you are in an exam)

2) What is the opportunity?
Is it really public speaking you are afraid of - or is it the consequence of something imaginary happening? Ask yourself: What is the worst thing that can happen? When you have the answer ask yourself what would happen next,… then what happens, then what… then… the worst thing that happens is often not as bad as we make out or it can be a re-routed opportunity. Whatever does happen you can learn something from it and you can always do better next time.

3) What is the real issue, the 1st trigger?
Mostly, we are not being self conscious enough the rest of the time (when not faced with an audience) to be aware of what is happening to the body and knowing what the initial first symptom is and what exactly triggered it. If we can spend time figuring that out then it becomes much easier to know how to manage it. Read more on this on my stormy weather blog (30-10-12)

You will probably find that it is something that happened in childhood probably at school when you first had to speak up in front of a classroom full of your peers (as you thought-ready to pick on you) and though this probably isn’t relevant any more it can still be the thing that is holding you back now.

4) What is the consequence if you don’t do the presentation?
Rather than focus on what might happen- what might go wrong when you speak in public, figure out what are the consequences of you not doing it. You may realise that doing it (possibly imperfectly) is better than not and this can then motivate you.

5) What is it you want to say?
As Peter Roper puts it: “know what you want to end with, then know where you are starting and massage the middle”. Don’t spend time focusing on all the detail, (unless you are giving a technical lecture) think about what impression you are wanting to put across, what is it you want your audience to get.

Now you have considered all of this do you feel any differently about public speaking? Your comments would much appreciated below.

If you still want more help then contact me and we can discuss how you could move forward and how Body~Mind Coaching can help you overcome fear of public speaking quickly, easily and for good!

New Year Resolution: Don't stop. Start instead!

Belated Happy New Year! It is amazing how easily one can get sidetracked. My son developing chickenpox on New Year's Day was just enough to send all my plans out of the window.

So here I am now with this question for you: have you made your New Year’s resolution?  If so are you still on track? Or have old patterns got you sidetracked too.

Does your resolution sound something like: stop smoking, stop eating so much chocolate, stop this or that. If not, that's great. You problem you already know all about setting SMART goals.

If they do, then unfortunately you are unlikely to succeed. There are too many reasons to explain why in this blog. However, one of the main reasons is that when you focus on the thing you don't want, (like not smoking,) your brain just focuses on the smoking and so wants more of it.

The unconscious mind can’t recognise a negative. For example: if I say to you: don't think of the pink elephant with a blue tutu and a red umbrella, dancing on a tightrope; this was the very image you had in your mind, even though, I said, don't think about it!  If the brain can't think about the elephant then it has far too many other options and can't decide which other thing to think about, so it just keeps thinking about the pink elephant. However, if I say, think of the hippopotamus in a muddy hole you think of that instead of the pink elephant.

So if you want your resolutions to succeed, think about what it is you will gain from your particular action. Think of how you will feel, what you will be able to do, what will change in your life. Then think about what you need to start doing in order to make that happen.

If you're resolution is to have a healthier and more relaxed life, then here are some questions to help you.

Reduce stress questionnaire

Which 3 areas of my life do I feel cause me most stress?

Give each area a score out of 10 (10 being the greatest stress)

When I feel stressed, it leaves you with the following symptoms emotions or moods:   ….

I allow myself time to relax and unwind:  True or false

If false, what gets in the way?                        Do you feel guilty for taking time to you ? Yes / No

The way in witch I relax is: …….

I allow myself to do this once a week/ month/ quarter/ year?

When I do this, I feel completely peaceful and relaxed?

If not then what does leave you feeling relaxed and peaceful?

(If you don’t know check out relaxation workshop on my events page)

What could you change about your 3 areas of stress to help you be more relaxed?

Could you have an hour away from your responsibilities and have time just for you at least one a week?

What are you willing to do, to make your life more peaceful?

How would you feel if you made those changes?   

Is it worth it? 

I really do hope so, and I hope you can commit to making it happen.

Remember as Ralph Waldo Emerson said "We become what we think about all day long." 

If you are not sure where to begin or how to set your goals then book a free 30 min Body-Mind Coaching taster session to see how I can help you.

Quote: 'Blog' when you contact Julie by phone or email  

Whatever your resolution is, have a wonderful 2013