Powerful questions to help you get clarity

Just saw a quote by Einstein which said: 'the important thing is not to stop questioning'

It is important though to ask the right kind of questions though!
Open ones rather than closed ones- i.e: ones that don't just have a yes or no answer.
Also I usually say don't ask questions starting with why, because we often don't know why (especially children) and even knowing why may not solve the issue.

I have noticed that when I am asked: 'why did you ....',  I immediately feel attacked, it feels like I have done something wrong and I need to justify my actions.  Being asked why I left the drawer open again, will just make me respond because I hadn't finished and was going to put the thing back I got out of there. This does not help the person who asked the question feel any better about it, nor does it help me change the behaviour that is obviously irritating the other person. By this time we are both defending our own position and an argument may arise.

If the person asked themselves what is it about the drawer being left open that irritates me, then they might find out they feel it is dangerous. Then they could say they would feel safer and more comfortable if I shut the drawer even if I am coming back later. This then doesn't sound like an attack and I am much more likely to respond favourably to the request.

Questions beginning with where, when, how, what will give you a much better idea of what is going on in the other person.
For example:
how does.. affect... what you do
how often does this occur,
when does such and such. occur,
what makes .....happen.

Here are some questions I ask clients that might help you understand more about what is affecting the way you feel.

When does it happen?
When is it worse?
When is it better?
How long have you felt this?
When did you first experience this?
What is it you would like instead?
Where were you when you first felt that way?
What helped you then?
Can you use that now?
If not then what else could help you?
What might stop you from doing that?
How can you overcome that?

Well I hope that just going through these questions has already helped you and if you want more then let me know, you don't have to struggle on your own, face to face or skype sessions are available, .